Thread:NightmareFoxyArk99/@comment-24277243-20150511205836

As you can see, I have deleted your character's page due to a lack of quality, and it just being another one of your "super awesome" self-indulgent self-inserts. I have listed the things you can do to fix it, and what's wrong with it.



- He has no weaknesses to speak of.

- His personality is random. Which does not make for a very compelling or interesting character.

- He has two large wings but they're "mostly for show". If you're going to design a character, have the actual design be beneficial.

- Speaking of design, this character's is all over the place. Try simplifying it to make it bearable to look at.

- "-Herokra dosent have a theme, but he often looks up a bunch of videos too make his theme" completely ruins the reader's suspension of disbelief.

- The fact that Herokra's name is your name raises red flags immediately. Especially considering he's an OP "Zombie Space Pirate" type thing.

- Speaking of which, make sure you differentiate yourself from your character. Your character is almost exactly like you, which ruins the immersion of a "roleplaying" site. I'm not saying you can't include yourself in your RP's just try to limit your usage.

- The ability to shapeshift is pretty cool.

- Randomness is an acquired taste, and not a lot of people find it funny. Try to make your character more believable. Watch some Monty Python if you want to see wit and other forms of humor done amazingly.

In Short:  Retool your character. Try to go to different places with him to make him different from you. The idea of a new alien race is ambitious, and I'd like to see it done correctly.

Don't get me wrong. I am in no way insulting or putting you down. I'm just trying to give constructive criticism.

Happy RPing!

-Goldn 