User blog:Flaredragon00/So, about that hiatus...

Hey, everyone! It's been two months since my hiatus began. I heard from Gojiran that some of you were asking questions, so I thought I would answer them. Or at least, answer the big one.

Why have I been gone so long? How long is this hiatus going to last? Well, um. I may have lied just a teeeensy bit about that hiatus. While I did intend on leaving for this "hiatus," it was never my intention to return. You see, that hiatus post was actually a disguised "I'm totally leaving forever but don't want you guys to freak out" post. In hindsight, that may have been a bit foolish of me. So, allow me to make it official: this "hiatus" is quite indefinite. I am pretty much spent on this website for reasons I already laid out in my previous post. However, because one of my reasons was purposefully vague and because it's been two months, I feel like some reiteration is needed.

1. I am not having fun anymore. This isn't really anyone's fault. I tried to make my last arc (the Golden Dust was always intended to be my final arc) too many things at once and it fell apart. My usual problems with arcs did were amplified by a large amount.

2. My life really doesn't have room for this site anymore. I'm trying to make my adult life the best I possibly can, and WZRP sadly had to go on the chopping block for a million different things. Between vocational school, writing, planning D&D campaigns...there just isn't enough time. Combine this with the above reason and I was frankly feeling like I was putting more into it than I was getting out of it.

3. Oh boy, here's the one I was vague about, and the reason I'm doing this post to begin with. Perhaps the largest reason I left WZRP was because of staff issues. Namely, myself being staff, and irreconcilable differences with fellow administrator ShodaiGoro. Let's get this out of the way first: this is not a call-out post against ShodaiGoro. I am not asking you to pick him or me. I'm just stating the reasons why I left, and leaving it at that. I'm not calling for a user revolution or some crap like that. I'm not that petty.

However, before we get into the details of that, allow me to apologize. A lot of people new to this site seem to have the impression that the reason for my promotion was because I did herculean feats of WZRP-ing, or my RP skills were so elite, or I made an edit so grand that it caused 50 elderly serial killers who were never caught to get heart attacks before being cannibalized by satanic starfish. However, the truth is that my entire run as staff on both the old Wikizilla site and WZRP was due to pure nepotism. I was only an admin because I was Goro's friend. I may have been voted to the position of bureaucrat by the site's users (and I was truly flattered by that), but that was built upon the back of a quite frankly undeserved administrative position. My climb up the ladder began not to long after I joined the original WZ wikia, in which one of the 'crats on that site gave me a chat mod status for...making a joke at someone's expense. Yes, that's it. I'm not joking. My climb to WZRP administrator was started by a tasteless joke about someone else. I am sincerely sorry. You guys didn't deserve to have a teenager bossing you around for 3-4 years because of something as stupid as that.

Speaking of bosses. It's time we talk about ShodaiGoro, and the reason my hiatus seemed so sudden. You see, according to Gojiran, we seemed to be doing just fine as friends, and I assume it looked that way to a lot of you. I regret to inform you that it wasn't even close to that idyllic. ShodaiGoro and I have been good friends for the 4-5 years that we've known each other, however, as of late 2016 early 2017 I was finding him to be a bit...passive aggressive. In all the years I have known Goro, I have known that is his way. And while everyone acts passive aggressive at times (I'll admit I've done my fair, fair share of it, especially when I was a teenager), Goro was doing it too many times for comfort. It also felt like he'd often talk at me about problems he was having with other users. I admit, this is something I've also done. However, this was because A. I was, at the oldest, 16 and B. the user(s) in question had done something quite serious that I felt was being ignored by other staff. Goro was constantly complaining about a certain user. During this time, early 2017, I was also just not doing great at that point. So I did what I did this time: I packed my bags, cut ties with him, and left without saying a word. This was a bad idea on my part. Goro eventually convinced a friend to have me talk with him to try and get things settled, and settled they were. I came back to WZRP with a bit of fanfare and continued right where I left off with a soft reboot of some of my OCs. He really had convinced me he had changed his tune, that he had listened to me.

He had not, to say the least. I was coming onto WZRP less and less often, I was not satisfied with my current plot (as stated above), and more importantly, I felt like Goro was still acting passive aggressive towards users he did not like. In particular, an incident in mid to late 2017 involving a good friend of mine making a decision about the character he used, not Goro, caused Goro to treat it as if it were the ultimate betrayal, ever. This quote from him, "Thanks for the band-aid, but it won't reattach my arm" has always stood out to me as the reason why I no longer wish to be his friend. He said that after getting what he wanted, you see. A character's death, no matter how "important" or "iconic" they may be, is no reason to act like that.

This is not everything Goro did, because a. a lot of it blurs together and b. I don't feel like writing a ton of paragraphs of "Goro did this, Goro did that." Again, this is not a call-out post, or a call to arms against Goro. I'm just explaining my side of the story, and why I felt like I had to cut ties with him (or just some of it because it's 1 AM I am not doing a college paper on this). Did I do it in the best way I could? Probably not. But I did it in the way I knew would allow me to toss this baggage of the fastest. Sorry to anyone caught in the crossfire of this drama.

If you're wondering why I'm making this now, it is simple: Gojiran wanted me to try and cool this bad blood I had made with Goro by cutting him off the way I did. However, I remembered that incident up above. I remembered how I thought stuff would change, when it did not. I decided to cut the ouroboros down the middle, and make my departure official.

If you guys think I'm a jerk after reading this then, well, I can't stop you. But I really don't care. I don't intend on returning, anyway. Consider this my resignation.

I did as I pleased. I urge you to do the same.

Sincerely, former Bureaucrat Flaredragon00,

Mari C.

P.S: Always remember: